Here we go again...

And so it begins, a new term. All the fresh, young faces staring at me...no, wait. They're not staring at me. What *are* they staring at?

That one's reading a newspaper. The two in the front row are surfing the internet on their laptops. The one in the far back is already asleep. Class hasn't even started yet so I guess at least I didn't put her to sleep. The three sorority girls along the edge of the classroom are whispering and giggling. They continue their whispering and giggling as I begin speaking and they don't stop until I glare at them. Then they look at each other and let out one last giggle. Hee.

The emails have already started.

"Where is the classroom?" I don't know, check the campus map just like I'll have to.

"The textbook is expensive! Where can I find it cheaper?" Heck if I know.

"Is there an assignment do [sic] this week?" Yes, that would be the one that's listed right on the syllabus with the due date right next to it. You did look at the syllabus, didn't you?

"Is this going to be on the test?" Yes. Everything I say will be on the test. Everything you read will be on the test. Memorize all of my facial expressions and gestures because those just might be on the test.

"How many A's do you think you'll give?" None. You definitely won't be getting one.

"Get back to me ASAP." Right. I'll get right on that. Because I'm at your beck and call 24/7. Your email just went to the bottom of my respond list.

And then there's the students from last term.

"I need to meet with you ASAP to discuss my course grade. I want to talk about my midterm grade, my paper grade, my final exam grade, and my final course grade." Alright, come see me during my office hours.

"I can't wait for your office hours! I want to see you right away! I'm very worried about my grade!" Well, the time to come talk to me about your midterm grade was after the midterm. By this I mean within a week after receiving your midterm grade, not 7 weeks later after the course has finished. Same with your paper grade.

This term I'm instituting email hours. Students can email me whenever they want, but I will only read and respond to email between the hours of 8:30-5:30, Monday-Friday. So all of you who want me to respond "ASAP" will have to wait. I do have a life outside of school.

Luckily there are several students in my class this term who I've had in classes before. I even like them. One told me she was nervous about this class but was so relieved upon seeing that I was going to be her TA. Another one has been in my class the last two terms. I teased him that he must be stalking me but he swears he didn't know I was TAing for this class when he signed up. He's a good sport.

Only 10 more weeks to go.